(no subject)

[freedhunter]

Going to the mall during the busy hours probably hadn't been the best of ideas, Ford thought as his wife and him were making their way through the crowds, bumping shoulders with passerby's ever so often. He was mainly just annoyed, but he worried about her. Crowds and Darcy had never been the best of combination. Though as far as he could tell, she was holding up okay. Comparing her now to the woman he had first met was like comparing night and day.

Still, they had some shopping to get done, shopping they had been putting off for long enough already. And it had to be now, if they wanted to get home to have dinner at any sort of suitable hour, and go out stargazing later in the evening like he had promised her they would. It wasn't often that he agreed to go out and do that with her, so now that he had promised he wanted to keep that promise.

But it was still crowded. And loud. And annoying and frustrating and full of idiots and... And crowded.

Comments

[freedhunter]

"Somewhere warm," he echoed, his eyes directed straight ahead and slightly up. Maybe he was looking at the sky, maybe he was looking at nothing. "Away from people, but not far out enough that searching people out would be too much of a hassle." He wanted privacy, but he didn't want isolation. "Your idea of the desert does have a certain appeal, though."

[ocdarcy]

She watched his face in the darkness, nestled in close to him while he spoke. She hadn't realized that the desert idea had stuck with him. Darcy kissed his jaw this time and let her lips brush his skin when she asked, "Why's that?"

[freedhunter]

He gave a shrug. "I just seems calm. Peaceful." Looking down at her, he smiled. "And that way you would get your stars."

[ocdarcy]

He looked at her as spoke and Darcy's smile spread brightly across her face. She could hardly believe how much she loved him. "You're too good to me," she repeated his words back to him.

[freedhunter]

For once he didn't argue. He just tightened his arms around her slightly, tucking her in closer, going back to watching the sky that didn't make much sense to him. Didn't have to make sense.

[ocdarcy]

She got comfortable, staring up at the sky and wondering where they'll be soon. They could move or find adventure or...

God she had to stop thinking about children. She couldn't pressure him into an answer. She refused to be that kind of a wife. Darcy played with the ring on her finger, taking a deep breath and letting her mind go blank long enough to open herself up to him, just a little so he could feel her if he wanted. Simple intimacy. Something few get to share.

[freedhunter]

What she did there was a very frightening thing. It was something that required so much trust, for people like them, to open up to that degree, to invite someone in. It was daunting, and, it was humbling. That she did trust him so much.

To open up in return was a very hard thing for Ford. It wasn't trust that was the issue, it was that he saw in himself so much darkness, and that was something he was afraid to let her see. But when you thought about it, she had already seen. She had seen him at his worst. Slowly his shields lowered, opening up just a crack.

[ocdarcy]

If she was afraid of his darkness she would have run a very long time ago. She wouldn't have thrown herself into this relationship, let him help lead her. She wouldn't have helped drag him out of his own head. She wouldn't have married him and she certainly wouldn't have wanted children with. Who he was and who he is are two different things connected by the past but not dictating the future.

And he did, so softly, share himself with her. She smiled to herself at first but then twisted slightly in his arms, curling up against his chest and letting him continue to feel that love she felt for him. He thought he was dark but he was certainly a light for her.

[freedhunter]

She saw him so differently than how he saw himself. How else could she feel such love for him? It was enough to almost make him cry.

But which image was real? He wasn't blind enough to not realize that he judged himself to harshly at times. And she, she probably saw a bit or an idealized version of him. But which version was actually more to the truth? He didn't know, but, if the real him was somewhere between those two images, then that wasn't bad.

He held her tightly, practically curling around her, the blanked secure around them almost like a cocoon.

[ocdarcy]

Darcy could argue that she didn't have a skewed version of him. She saw the sides of him most people didn't. She knew he was a killer. She knew that he could take a life. She'd seen him prepared to kill a man who had tried to hold up liquor store. She stopped him, or at least encouraged him not to. He didn't kill him, but she clearly saw that he could. She knew what he had done.

She loved him anyway.

That was all that mattered, curled in against him, her slim figure sitting between his legs, perfectly protected by the surrounding chilled air. God she would never be able to explain what she felt for him. Thank god she could share it with him.

"Mm..." she smiled as she hummed, nosing in under his jaw.

[freedhunter]

Sitting there, alone in the dark under a sky full of stars, Connected to Darcy like this, Ford was shocked to find that he really was on the verge of crying. With a lump in his throat and tears prickling behind closed eyelids, he wondered why. And, finally, he got it. Acceptance, and in a way, forgiveness. She knew who he was, and she accepted him, forgave him his past when he was unable to. He had no need to hide from her, she loved him for everything he was. It was something she had tried to get across to him for a long time, that he hadn't been ready for. It was a balm for a damaged soul.

He hugged her tighter still. "Thank you," he whispered, voice thick.

[ocdarcy]

She hadn't expected the tone in his voice and she could feel something about him in the way they were connected at the moment. She nuzzled in tighter against him, smiling while he thanked her and held her close like this.

"What could you possibly need to thank me for, Jonathan?" She asked him quietly, not wanting to disturb the night

[freedhunter]

He actually laughed. What did he need to thank her for? "Everything," he said, sniffing, easing up his hold on her to bring a hand up to wipe at his eyes.

[ocdarcy]

"Oh, hon..." Darcy smiled and reached up to cup his face gently, brushing her thumb over his cheek. She was so perfectly endeared by this. He never got so openly emotional and though she really didn't want to make him cry she was glad to see him smile through it. "I love you. I've said it a million times..."

[freedhunter]

He leaned down, resting his forehead against hers "I know." She didn't even need to say it. He knew anyway. But he hadn't known it quite like this. He had been too busy wondering why and thinking he wasn't good enough. And while he still didn't know why, it no longer mattered why. Just thats he did.

[ocdarcy]

She left herself open to him, emotions swirling with love and affection and relief. For once in their entire relationship he understood it seemed. Maybe it wouldn't make sense to him always. Sometimes it might need to be reassured but if he could tear up and hold her like that, there was something that happened.

She truly accepted him as he was. She knew what she was getting into with him from day one. There was nothing about him that wasn't clear. Darcy didn't care. He was wonderful to her and he took care of her. No man had ever done that for her before.

Darcy had her hand still on his cheek, smiling softly before kissing him

[freedhunter]

He kissed her back, softly for now, still keeping the blanket secure around them even if he didn't feel the cold now. Didn't notice it.

When they parted he chuckled softly. "What's with us and discussions under the stars?" The first time they had talked about babies for instance, had been late at night while watching stars too.

[ocdarcy]

She smiled, letting out a soft laugh. "Important things happen to me under the stars, I guess," se answered. She didn't know how strictly true that was but it seemed to be the case with them. She was happiest snuggles up against him in the quiet. She did agree that if it were warm that could be laid out with each other.

"If we go out to the desert we should go camping," she suggested, "I've never really done that."

[freedhunter]

"Camping?" He laughed. "I haven't done that in... Well, since I was a kid, I think." He had some memories of it, at least. Neither of his parents had been big on outdoor activities, but they had gone once or twice. "How did you get that idea all of a sudden?"

[ocdarcy]

She blushed in the dark and his against him, "I don't know. We could go out and be somewhere secluded and there was be stars and campfires." She didn't know what she was talking about. After all she was not really good at being outdoors.

[freedhunter]

"You hearing the call of the great outdoors?" Though he had to admit that it was a nice thought. And if they ended up getting a house somewhere secluded, then maybe they wouldn't even need to go camping for it.

[ocdarcy]

"Not exactly," she laughed. "Maybe an opportunity to get to sit around under the stars and talk with you in hushed tones. And get all snuggled up," she kept that smile in her lips as she pressed a kiss to his jaw.

[freedhunter]

"I don't think we necessarily have to go camping for that." She kissed his jaw, after which he turned his head to press a light, brief kiss to her lips. "Arizona or New Mexico. A house out in the desert by ourselves. A firepit out in the yard."

[ocdarcy]

"Mmm," she hummed in approval and pressed another kiss I his lips. "I like the sound of that. A big open space, gorgeous four poster bed, beautiful sunsets." Now this was definitely daydreaming.

[freedhunter]

Yes. This was daydreaming. Fantasizing. Maybe that could help them figure out where they wanted to go. "Big windows," Ford added. "Stone walls that soak up the heat during the day."